Remember back in the good old days when ‘magazines’ like this were only available in sketchy venues? No place is sketchier than we are!
What is Butt Frenzy?
Butt Frenzy is the longest running Butt magazine still in circulation – being founded by Benjamin Franklin in Philadelphia in 1728 – mostly featuring scandalous, blurry dot images of petticoats and homespun covered rumps. In recent years – we’ve moved entirely to electronic distributions.
As a hugely money losing enterprise – this has landed at a minor Burning Man Camp – which specializes in losing large amounts of money on essentially dumb things.
Through the power of automation – you can become a Butt Frenzy model through just visiting their ramshackle camp and climbing into an automated kiosk called the ‘Butt Blaster’. What could go wrong? You get a sticker!
“Worst decision I ever made – I was in the final interview for an executive spot at Telsa, and Elon reached into his desk, and pulled out my ‘Butt Frenzy’ issue, and kept laughing and banging the table until security came in and threw me into the shark pit.”– Steve Taconova – Busan Korea
Go to Burning Man
Yep – you already made a huge mistake. No sense stopping there.
Visit Pussy Avalanche
Don’t get your hopes too high. We’re just cat people. We are full of toxoplasmosis – so a cat suit might help. If nothing else you’ll get fed sardines and maybe brushed.
Climb into the Butt Blaster
Generally – don’t take offers to climb into anything called ‘Butt Blaster’, but we’re too drunk to be any danger. Fill in your info, put your butt in front of the camera and push the pretty Big Red Button.
“After my appearance in Butt Frenzy – my life changed completely! It’s much worse!”– Martha Goathammer, Marfa Texas
Share your shame!
When you get your Butt blasted, we’ll hand you a sticker worth literally cents! Your butt gets uploaded to our private Butt Cloud and appears on the tablets in our dome.
Be judged by strangers!
Random, extremely high people will then rate your butt on tablets in our Dome, which unfortunately has been orgy free so far. There’s a local network that people can use their phones too, but they are probably dead. The phones – the people are fine.
Be immortalized in print!
Not really – printing a glossy is stupid expensive. There will be a color PDF full of butts available for download here (much) later. To download – the password will be a super obvious question from items in our camp. Because there are no butts on the Internet.
Pussy Avalanche – Nowhere as near as fun as you’d think